"Growin' and growin'"

Rick and I took Maisy to the City Clerk's Office the other day to apply for her passport.  We get to go on a family vacation to Mexico this summer, since my youngest brother decided to have a destination wedding.  We're thrilled to have an excuse to spend time at a resort on the beach!

Anyway, it came time for Rick to go to work and Maisy and I to go off and do a few other errands.  

Maisy: "No, Daddy.  You not go to work.  You come home with me!"

Daddy: I want to come home with you, but I have to go to work.  I'll see you at home after your nap.

Maisy: (screams, because yes, she is two, then says:) "This is so frustrating.  I am so upset right now."

Seriously.  She used those exact words.  She isn't quite 27 months old yet.  

The big news in our house is that Maisy is potty training.  We started a couple of weeks ago, right after we got back from a long road trip to North Dakota.  Maisy had been trying on the potty quite a bit for several months, and she had success here and there, but we hadn't really put any focus on it and we were still using diapers 100% of the time.  "U" was the letter of the week for Library Storytime on that Monday, so I thought, "Why not?  U is for Undies, after all!"  

After Storytime, we spontaneously checked out the book "Ian's Potty" from the library (highly recommended, though as Rick reminded me, you can't really spend time thinking about how many potties that book has been near).  Then it was off to Target, where I carefully diverted Maisy's attention away from the thin-as-tissue-paper princess-and-Dora undies to the practical-and-absorbent Gerber training pants (highly recommended as well!).  It took very little convincing to convince her of how cool the flowers, butterflies, and pink Big Girl Undies were - she had them out of the package before we got to the checkout lanes.  

That was a Monday.  We had a few accidents here and there ("like Ian") between that Monday and Thursday.  It's been two full weeks since we got the Big Girl Undies, and she hasn't had an accident since that Thursday!  She still wears a diaper overnight, but almost always wakes up "clean and dry," as she puts it, and she's starting to refuse a diaper during naps.  As she says, "I'm a big girl.  I'm growin' and growin'!"

What's Left After the Thaw

It's another beautiful March day.  We spent part of the afternoon in the backyard, raking up bits of leaves (me) and picking up doggy droppings (Rick) that have become visible now that the snow has melted.  We're also finding what else had been covered up by Winter.

A pair of camouflage gloves.

Colorful bits of broken plastic and toys.

A veritable minefield of wood shards and snapped branches.

More than one piece of 2x4 with rusty nails sticking straight up.

Two halves of a Razr scooter.

Two bike tires with broken spokes and twisted metal.

Boy felt better when he broke things.

For seven months, we called him son, and meant it even on the last day.  It's been over a month and a half since that cold winter day when we said goodbye to him.  So much has changed since then, yet so much is still the same.  His smiling school picture is still on the fridge.  Maisy points at it often and says, smiling, "There's Boy."  His school library books still sit on his dresser - the one he pounded a hole through with a hammer on one of his last nights here.  Every once in awhile, I walk in his old room and think about how I should really stop by the school sometime to return them.  The shattered window in his room is still covered up with plywood, the door is still torn off of the basement room where we feed the dog, the paneled wall is still knocked down and ripped apart.  When Maisy feeds the dog, she points to these things and says, "Boy break door."

Some of the pictures on the fridge can still make me smile, though.  For the first month or so of school, Boy functioned pretty well.  He let me help him with his homework.  He participated in an after-school activity, and Maisy and I went to every one to cheer him on.  He was different then.  Everything was different.

I remember when he began to unravel, sometime in October, for sure in November.  But I'm not going to get into all of that here.  The Whats and Whys and Hows.

So what's left now?  After the thaw?  The hard freeze is over.  What's left behind?

A pair of camouflage gloves.

A 25-month-old who still says "I sister."  Who remembers Boy almost every time we pray before meals.  Who still says, "I miss Girly" even though it's been nearly 7 months since the last time Maisy saw her - when we called our amazing, supportive friends to pick Maisy up at the spur of the moment and keep her away from our house for the night.  Who still points to broken pieces of whatnot and tells me the things Boy destroyed.  Who responds with "Boy loves me" when I ask her in a sing-song voice, "Who loves Maisy?"

Guilt and relief.

A working knowledge of several area pediatric psychiatry units and a sense of which ones are more appropriate for a child with a traumatic history.

Guilt and a feeling of renewed youth.

Residual fear.

Questions.

Vivid memories.

Gratefulness for the care I received in my mother's womb, in my parents' home, from Day 1.  I realize now how critical those early days are, those first few years.  I worry a little about the impact of the hard months on Maisy, but overall, I know she is fine.  She has always been well cared for.  She has always been loved.  She has never known hunger, or the brain-changing confusion of a caregiver who is sometimes warm and sometimes cold and sometimes totally absent.  I am so grateful I can meet her core needs.  Give her this healthy beginning in life.  I wish Boy had had it.  And Girly, too.  I wish it earnestly, and often.

Sadness, yet a sense that I should somehow feel sadder.

Awareness.  Of mental illness.  Of the importance of those first three years.  Of Reactive Attachment Disorder.  Of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder.  Of early sexualization.  Of trauma, and PTSD, and the effects of trauma on developing brains.  Of the complexity and desperation of trying to heal children with complex trauma and an assortment of acronyms.

HUMILITY.  I can have so much knowledge and compassion, go to so many trainings, apply this or that method, consult with therapists and experts, try, and try, and try again, and yet fail miserably.  Fail.  So rarely in my life have I failed at anything, and here I failed at something so huge.

Humility.  Powerlessness.  But with the thaw has come some peace.  I know that the Boy who was my son for such a relatively short time, is and always has been a child of God.  And even though I could do so very little, I know that God can do so very, very much.

What's left after the thaw?

Faith.

Hope.

Love
.

Where's Maisy?

Maisy's been here...

And here...

And here...

DEFINITELY here...

Here too...

Hurricane Maisy!

Maisy's First Kiss

Who would guess we would pick Maisy up from the church nursery tonight and hear about her first kiss???  Not even 14 months old yet!

His name is Joel.  He looks like he's about 3 years old (an older boy!), but I can't be sure since Maisy didn't introduce us to him.

The nursery volunteers say it happened something like this:

Joel and Maisy were playing near each other, when Joel (struck by Maisy's sweetness, I'm sure) puckered up for a kiss.  Maisy spotted her opportunity, puckered up right back, and SMOOCH!  Right on the lips! Apparently, Joel was very excited about his big moment and even did a little dance.

Maisy's reaction?  I'm not sure, but I do know that she only had eyes for mama when I came to pick her up.

Friday Faves: Read-Aloud Favorites

Anyone who knows me knows that this picture of Maisy (snapped just this afternoon) is no accident: Like Mommy like Baby.  Or should I say, "Mommy like, baby like."  I love books - and I especially love a great kids' book!

Here are some of Maisy and Mommy's current read-aloud favorites:

Read-Aloud Pick #1:
Blue Sea
By Robert Kalan
Illustrated by Donald Crews

I originally checked this book out of the library to read with a current young client of mine who is an emergent reader.  When I decided to read it to Maisy, however, she was immediately captivated by the bold illustrations and simple, repetitive phrases.  Maisy bounces with excitement when we open the pages of this book, and she's ready to flip back to the beginning as soon as its finished.

Young ones like Maisy will love the bright pictures.  Older children will enjoy the storyline and predictable prose, and learn about "big, bigger, and biggest" at the same time.




Read-Aloud Pick #2:
Jesse Bear, What Will You Wear?
By Nancy White Carlstrom

"Jesse Bear, What will you wear, what will you wear in the morning?"

This adorable preschool classic is a prime example of "mommy like, baby like."  I love this sweet book with its happy pictures and song-like rhymes.  After just a couple of attempts, now Maisy reaches for it too!  Jesse Bear takes us through his whole day, from wearing his red shirt in the morning to wearing the moon on his bed at night.  

Don't think your little one is ready to sit still through a whole storybook?  You won't know until you try!

Read-Aloud Pick #3:  

Baby Talk
By Dawn Sirett

"Peek-a-boo!" "Yum-yum!" "Night-night!"

This has been one of Maisy's favorite books for the longest time!  In fact, I had to check to see if I'd blogged about this awesome board book before.  Big baby faces!  Cute baby words! Giant baby lift-the-flaps!  Given a choice, Maisy picks this book almost every time.  If she accidentally skips a page or a flap, Maisy actually notices and goes back to read what she missed.

This book is great to read-aloud, but equally fun for Baby to flip through on her own.  

Maisy's Haircare Secrets

Step 1:  It's important to select just the right brush.

Step 2:  It works best if you dampen it a little before using.

Step 3:  Hand it to your stylist.  If your mom is a ponytail professional, all the better for you!

Step 4:  Smile!  You're a star!

Memories to Keep

Maisy is 13 and a half months old now - is it possible that the second year can go faster than the first?  It seems like it.  I know that the first 6 weeks of Maisy's second year of life has disappeared much more quickly than the same weeks last year.

When I think back to those weeks, I can remember waking up many times each night, and the feeling of victory I felt if she made it three hours between feedings instead of two, four hours instead of three.  The week she began sleeping until 4 am was monumental!  Now she's drinking whole milk from a sippy cup, and the rare nights that she wakes up in the middle feel in some ways harder... I think.  :)  

I remember thinking she slept ALL DAY LONG - and she pretty much did!  Now I cross my fingers that Maisy will take two naps in a day, or at least one long afternoon nap so I can clear away the clutter for round two.

I remember her sweet newborn noises and the adorable kissy face she used to make unconsciously.  Now she's trying out new sounds and words nearly every day, and her breathless "hi hi hiiii" is a greeting I will always treasure.  Her "kissy face" has been replaced by real kisses, with a big upper-lip-to-the-bottom-of-her-nose pucker up that is irresistible.

Our family will grow again someday, maybe soon.  Judging from my mother-of-4 sister's blog, my cluttered house will get clutterier and my mornings will become hectic.  The days will fly by one faster than the other, yet there will always be memories to keep (even if there is seemingly no time or place to keep them).

I love being a mom, even when I'm greeted at 4:45 am with a poopy diaper, a diaper rash, and a rarin'-to-go 1-year-old.  When she's proud of her first crayon scribbles, taking those first few steps into my open arms, or crawling toward me all puckered up for a kiss and a snuggle, it's worth every blowout she ever had.

And that's a whole lot.

"BA!"

Two of Maisy's favorite words are book and ball.  Whenever she sees one, she expresses herself with one-year-old enthusiasm: "Ba! BA BA BA!"

The giant red concrete balls outside the Target entrance are greeted with "Ba!"

She points at a book on her nursery table: "BA!"

The shining display of oranges at the grocery store earn a frantic "BA BA BA BA BA!!!"

One of my favorite "ba" experiences so far, though, happened Wednesday night.  We got home late from Awana, and Maisy was waaaay overtired.  Attempting to lay her down or even soothe her led to screaming, crying, writhing, and general exhaustion-induced tantrumming.

Rick and I tried the usual tricks - rocking (yeah, right!), reading a bedtime story (just led to sobbing "BAs" whenever we put a book down), checking the diaper, pacing the living room floor, singing, putting on music, just plain leave-the-room distraction - on and on for at least an hour.  

Finally, as I rocked her in the chair in her nursery, she spotted an orange plastic basketball that had rolled under her dresser.  She pointed.  "Ba!!!!!"

So, like any desperate parent, I picked up the toy ball, placed it in Maisy's chubby baby hands, wrapped her up in her blanket, and tucked her in.  When I left the room, Maisy was clutching the hard plastic ball to her chest like any other baby might hold a teddy bear.  

Then, sweet relief.  Maisy drifted off to sleep, to dream of basketballs, exercise balls, ball poppers, and bright displays of grocery store oranges.

"Ba!"

Happy First

I remember holding her for the first time, and how her tiny, perfect features erased all of the chaos and pain and fear of the hours before.  She was just right - pink and crying and beautiful.  My sweet baby.

The first night in that dim hospital room, Rick and I hardly slept.  Every hiccup, every sigh, every whimper was cause to shift and stare, stand and hold our precious girl.

My mom helped me with her first bath at home, a sponge bath on our kitchen table.  We assembled everything - towels, washcloths, baby wash, lotion, diaper, clothes.  I was so careful.  The temperature of the water was triple-checked, each tiny finger given individual attention, her head kept covered and warm as soon as it had been washed.

So many firsts have followed.  The first time we brought her to church.  The first night she slept in her crib.  Her first taste of solid food, first tooth, first walk to the park, first word, first pair of baby jeans, first dip in the lake, first babysitter, first ear infection, first snow, first Christmas, first birthday cake...

I think there must be something special about the first-year firsts.  A year ago this very night, we drove slowly home through dark snowy streets.  We slid her tiny arms into the sleeves of a big yellow blanket sleeper and laid her down to sleep in a bassinet that made her look so very small (and she was!).  First night in her first home.

And here we are: the first year is over.  Maisy is one.  Our little sweetheart is pointing at everything in sight, flipping madly through the pages of books, saying "dada" when she hears the garage door open, voicing her disapproval at being removed from the dog's water dish, bringing a spoon to the same lips that used to make the "kissy face" that we so loved.

I'm not sad, though.  How can I be sad when I think of all the firsts and seconds and thirds yet to come in Maisy's life?  She's growing.  Transforming.  Becoming more independent and vibrant with each passing day.  I'm blessed to be her mommy, to be given this precious baby-girl life with all its incredible, every day firsts.

Happy First, My Maisy.

Love,
Mommy

Great 8: Mommy Moments

I've been such a slacker-blogger lately!  I can try to blame my lack of posts on a more-mobile Maisy and a new tutoring client, but that's probably an excuse.  In any case, here are some top Mommy Moments from the past week, in no particular order (ordering takes time, and I have laundry to switch over and a 9-month-old due to awaken at any moment):

Mommy Moment #1: Snow Baby
First snow of the season last Saturday, so we bundled Maisy up in snow pants, winter jacket, mittens, hat, and shoes (don't own boots yet) to check out the heavy wet flakes. She looked just like the little boy from A Christmas Story. When we tried to set her down in the snow for a photo op we had to push snow up behind her to keep her from falling backwards.

Mommy Moment #2: We Dance
Maisy and I were playing on the floor and listening to some jazzy kiddie tunes the other day.  I found myself bobbing my head side to side in time to the music, and looked over to find Maisy doing the same thing.  Does Maisy dance like Mommy? Or, does Mommy dance like Maisy?

Mommy Moment #3: I Whistle
I dropped Maisy off at a friend's house today and took off for my new 1.5 hour a week position teaching Orton-Gillingham reading.  I suddenly realized I was contentedly whistling along to the Raffi song streaming from the speakers.  No baby in the car, no Raffi, right?  I flipped on the radio, but I'll be the first to admit that the whistling stopped when the Raffi stopped.

Mommy Moment #4: Perfect Timing
Maisy and I were due to be right on time to a doctor's appointment as I buckled her into her car seat.  Just as I clicked the last buckle into place, I sniffed.  Definitely poopy.  Needless to say, we didn't make it to our appointment on time.

Mommy Moment #5: Mega Playdate
Somewhere in the stay-at-home-mom bi-laws, I believe there is a requirement to host playdates for your children, no matter their ages. Of course, for the six moms and as many babies at the playdate I hosted on Wednesday, the moms did a lot more socializing than the babes.  Here's what I learned from hosting my first mega playdate: Six+ babies generate six times the toy mess.

Mommy Moment #6: And Then There Were Three
Teefers that is.  Maisy's third pearly white appeared early Tuesday morning.  So far, no intense teething fussiness.  Now I've probably jinxed myself.

Mommy Moment #7: Maisy's First Babysitter
Other than family and close adult friends.  Maisy's first "real" babysitter was a high school girl from church who knows Maisy from the church nursery.  Rick and I ate at the new Cadillac Ranch restaurant at the Mall of America and shopped a little before heading home to a sleeping baby.  Success!  For the record, neither of us rode the Cadillac Ranch's mechanical bull.

Mommy Moment #8: Double-Digit Woes
Maisy turns 10 months old in less than two weeks.  Double digits are approaching with shocking speed.  I know I'm lame, but how did she get so big so fast?  It really wasn't that long ago that I was waking up every 2 hours to feed her by night, and letting my tiny newborn take naps curled up on my chest by day.  Now here I am, counting her teeth, closing the basement door to keep her from toppling down, and realizing that my little baby is really not so little anymore.  When she was first born, we kept track of her age by hours, then by weeks, and now by months.  Even as I cheer on every new stage of development, I can't help but feel a little sadness with the passing of the time.

Mommy Moment #9: Holiday Cheer
To avoid going out on a melancholy note, I'll add a nine to my great eight.  I am SUPER excited for Christmas.  My Sunday School kiddos are preparing for their Advent Christmas program, my Awana kiddos are practicing Christmas songs for some in-church caroling next month, and I am loving it!  I think I'm as excited for Maisy's first Christmas as I used to get circling the toys I wanted in the JCPenney Christmas catalog each year.  Hopefully I'll sleep better as a mom than I did as a little girl, waiting wide awake at the top of the stairs in the pitch-black early morning of Christmas Day.

Two Highs and a Low

What a busy week! I'll try to sum it up with two high points and a low point from the past week or so.

High: Pumpkin Patching with Maisy

Last Saturday, Rick and I took Maisy to her first apple orchard and pumpkin patch. It was such a beautiful day! Maisy loved every minute of our excursion in spite of a nose that ran like a faucet from sun up to sun down. 

Our camera got a workout. When we first got there, I helped Maisy pose for a picture standing in front of a scarecrow measuring stick reading "how tall this fall." I think it'd be so fun to come back every year to watch her grow (good marketing!). We snapped pictures of Maisy "helping" us pick a giant bag of yummy apples, but my favorite pictures are of Maisy sitting among the pumpkins in the pumpkin patch. Those bright orange pumpkins got her SO excited that she grinned and bounced her arms up and down in that funny Maisy way. We planned on picking two or three, so of course we came home with four pumpkins that are now perched on our front stoop.

Gorgeous fall weather, happy baby, fun family time... definitely a high point!

High: Maisy's Baptism

We were blessed to have so many family and friends come to church and our home yesterday for Maisy's baptism. It had been a debate since before she was born whether or not we would baptize or dedicate her (in the Evangelical Covenant Church, parents can choose). I had been dedicated as a baby and baptized when I was older, but Rick, growing up Catholic, had been baptized as a baby. All complicating factors aside, I probably would have chosen dedication, but it was important to Rick's mom to baptize Maisy. So, after talking it over with our pastor so that I had a better understanding of it, we went the baptism route. 

I must say, it was very special. My brother Dan and sister Sheri are godparents, and the pews around us were filled with Maisy's grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends. Our church is relatively small, so each baby seems to be treasured even beyond the norm, and Maisy is known and recognized throughout the congregation. Maisy gazed right up into our pastor's eyes as he said "the Lord bless you and keep you, the Lord make his face to shine upon you and give you peace," and I couldn't help but tear up.

After the baptism, family and friends piled into cars and came back to our house for a meal and to just hang out. My mom and I had worked ourselves into exhaustion baking, decorating, and otherwise preparing for the day, but it was worth it. The tables were decorated in fall decor, the food was good, and the kids were great. 

A fun afternoon of celebration with the people we love... another high point!

Low: Maisy's First Ear Infection

Booooooo... Our cheerful little girl became a fussy, needy, sleep-deprived baby last Sunday afternoon (the day after the pumpkin patch), but she had been struggling to sleep through the night since the Tuesday before. Monday morning I took her to our doctor and heard, "Oh yeah, that one's infected! Yep, that too." So that was that. Maisy has been taking amoxicillin - which she thinks is liquid candy - for a full week now. The first few days were ROUGH! No napping, so much crying, LOTS of amoxicillin-induced diarrhea... I couldn't get anything done around the house, yet I knew that I should because I was expecting so many visitors for the baptism. 

By Thursday, her ears and congestion seemed better and Maisy could play happily on her own again. By Friday, she was able to fall asleep without several attempts to rock and then sloooowly place her in her crib without a wakeful wail. On Saturday night, before the baptism, Maisy woke up at 11:00pm and stayed awake until 2 in the morning. 

On Sunday morning, just before we started singing the final song before her baptism, there was a rumble in the jungle. Rick and I looked at each other. "I felt that," he whispered intently. One song to go, but I had to get her diaper changed or risk a blowout in her pretty dress as we stood behind the baptismal font! I swooped her up, snatched the diaper bag, and dashed to the nursery. With a nursery volunteer keeping pace ("they're still singing, still singing, still singing, they're done!"), I whipped off Maisy's dirty diaper, slapped on a new one, skipped the tights, tied bows on her pretty pink shoes, and speed-walked back to the sanctuary with my heart racing. Our pastor stood behind the lectern, and as we walked up the aisle he smiled at us and said, "So glad to see you and Maisy, Jess." We made it!

Maisy was so good during the baptism and in the afternoon while most of our guests were still over. Late afternoon hit, and our fussy, needy, ear-tugging baby returned. We went to the doctor this morning and found out that her ear infection had resurfaced even though she'd been on amoxicillin for a week. Now we're on something totally different. All I can hope is that it won't cause her diarrhea the way the amoxicillin has. She had at least 7 dirty diapers yesterday, has already had at least 5 today, and the diaper rash that has emerged because of it makes her cry so hard every time I change her diaper. :( Poor baby! 

Two ear infections, sleep deprivation, and an amoxicillin-induced diaper rash... that's a low!!!

So there you have it. My two highs and a low. 


Right at this very moment, I can see Maisy is working on dirty diaper number 6 on her freshly bathed, rash-covered bottom. It's a good thing I had two big highs to outweigh this yucky low.

The Music of Babies

A faint, racing heartbeat.

The first sound I heard from my baby was nothing short of miraculous. A matter of weeks after I held the positive pregnancy test heralding newly created life, I heard the life-changing music of my baby's tiny beating heart. I marched to the drumbeat of that first sound for months while I waited for the next song.

Months later, after hours of shocking contractions and desperate pushing, I heard the most beautiful, relief-filled, pain-erasing notes. I heard my brand new baby, out in the big world, crying loudly: "I'm here! I'm yours! Cuddle me! Feed me! Love me!" And I did. I wrapped my arms around her as she wailed, and I communicated silently back: "I'm here. I'm yours. I'll always love you."

The first night, in spite of being awake for over two days, my husband and I stayed awake listening to the music of our baby. We were held captive by every sigh, every suck, every whimper. Her hiccups had us whispering to each other across the dark hospital room: "She's so sweet. She's so perfect." 

Over the first two months, she spoke to us in grunts and dolphin noises. Grunting may not sound very musical, but to me it was. My baby's grunts were at once funny and beautiful. They murmured: "I'm here. I'm yours. Cuddle me, feed me, love me." And I did.

In no time, the grunting ceased, and my baby began to coo. Cooing meant contentment, and she was a very contented baby. The little vowel sounds never ceased to make me smile. 

Quickly, it seemed, the vowels attached to consonants, and my daughter began to speak the babbling language of babies. Her cries began with an adorable "Boooo-waaaaaa" that, accompanied by an amazing pouty lip, had me hiding a smile as I comforted her baby woes. Around this time, she looked me in the eye and chattered, and I chattered back. She woke us early in the morning as she lay in bed, chatting happily to the stars and moon that hung above her crib. She was truly the world's cutest alarm clock.

Along with the babbling stream of ma's and ba's and ga's came other sounds. She pushed air out of her lips to make little raspberry noises. Scritching and scratching became common sounds in our home as she discovered the interesting textures all around her.

One early morning at the family cabin she woke us up with "THUMP -rattlerattlerattle... THUMP -rattlerattlerattle." She was having a grand time kicking the hollow-sounding bottom of the Pack-n-Play and hearing her baby doll rattle away in response. (When my husband took the doll away, she communicated with a truly pitiful "Booooo-waaaaa" that she didn't appreciate having Daddy stop the fun just because it was 5 in the morning. Daddy gave the dolly back.)

And she laughed. The first time she laughed, her daddy was holding her while I danced a ridiculous version of the Hokey Pokey. My older brother got a bigger laugh when he spoke to her with his high-pitched chipmunky baby voice. One quick laugh turned into a giggle. Giggles turned into belly laughs. Belly laughs became squeals of delight. Baby laughter is the sweetest music. 

I know what's coming, and I look forward to it greedily. I watch and listen for her mamamama's to become that first crystal-clear, no-doubt-about-it Mama. I can only imagine the flow of words that will follow. Soon enough, too, she'll be off the floor, pattering around the house in barefoot beats of percussion.

Baby music fills our house from the first happy babbles of awake to the soft rhythmic breathing of asleep. It ripples around our house, singing: "I'm here! I'm yours! Cuddle me, feed me, love me!" And we do.

Quick Update #1

I'm heading out of town in an hour and I haven't packed.

Maisy's second tooth made an appearance yesterday and made her VERY fussy this morning, so I'm nervous about our solo 5-hour journey to my parents' house.

Maisy had a Baby Sprinkles Splish Splash Pool Party Bash on Tuesday (also her 7-month birthday) and it as AWESOME!  Her little buddy came over and splashed around with her.  Maisy played happily in the pool for seriously about an hour, and she probably could have gone longer too.

I waited all summer for that pool to go on clearance at Target, and it was so worth it.







No Friday Faves this week because I feel too rushed, yet compelled to post something.  If you miss it, think of my endorsement of that adorable little pool as this week's issue.

I've been wrapping up summer tutoring this week and I'm hoping that my next wave of clients is just around the corner.  I really enjoyed tutoring, and I'm looking forward to seeing how my ACT test-takers do on the test next Saturday.

My brother Jef (he insists on spelling it with one f) is the latest of my family members to begin a blog.  It's called Toilet Runner, probably because he loves to run, but he can never run too far from a toilet.  Love it.  My sister Jen has a Runner Mom blog now - she is Supermom to four adorable kiddos - and the quotes from her little ones are hilariously spot on.

I really shouldn't let Maisy nap too much longer if I want her to sleep in the car.  Sigh.  I'd better get packing.

"Friday" Faves: Books in Pairs

This week, I've picked a few different pairs of books to review - some are related to babies, some to mommies, and some to tutoring.

Books #1 & #2: Top 50 Skills for a Top Score - ACT English, Reading, and Science and Top 50 Skills for a Top Score - ACT Math

I don't necessarily use these books cover-to-cover for my tutoring clients, but I have found them to be worthy supplementary resources. They could be used a number of ways. The pretests contain one question for each skill introduced in the book. This is one quick method of pinpointing skill gaps. Often I cover the same skills when I teach subject-specific strategies and skills using the more all-inclusive materials from KAPLAN or Princeton Review. However, the specificity of the practice questions in these books are helpful for grasping single topics. 

Because of the student-friendly tone of the writing, I find that the skill pages make good homework assignments. Author Brian Leaf teaches each skill by giving a written 

                                   overview, explaining the corresponding question from the pretest, and then providing 

several ACT-format questions of varying difficulties. This can be especially helpful for math because often KAPLAN or Princeton Review will cover many skills without providing questions for immediate practice.

Actually, my favorite subject area covered in the Top 50 Skills books is the one that is not listed in the titles: Writing. Brian Leaf has made several exercises for the skills needed on the optional writing test, including one for creating an outline, writing an introduction, proofreading, etc. Each exercise expects the student to expand on two different ACT-style writing prompts using the writing skills he introduces.

All in all, these two books provide solid advice and ample skill-specific practice. I wouldn't necessarily use the books on their own, but I like them as supplements to my ACT prep instruction.

Books #3 & #4: Baby Faces & I Love Colors by Margaret Miller 

Maisy loves looking at these two books by Margaret Miller. The big bright baby faces have her looking, smiling, and reaching as soon as I turn a page. The words are simple and baby-friendly. It's fun to point out colors, facial expressions, and body parts ("Nose! Here's Maisy's nose!"). 

Oh, and the babies are cute, too. 

(Though not as cute as mine!)

Books #5 & #6: From Conception to Birth and The Happiest Baby on the Block

I wanted to pick two books that I read when I was pregnant with Maisy. What to Expect When You're Expecting was just too obvious of a choice, even though I did refer to it frequently. The best parts are the fruit comparisons ("it's an apple seed! now it's an orange seed! a banana! a cantaloupe! yikes!"). Anyway, I thought I'd pick two that are a bit less commonplace.

Dr. Harvey Karp, author of The Happiest Baby on the Block, talked about different theories of colic, then went on to explain his theory of a newborn baby's needs in terms of a missing fourth trimester. Basically, he said that brand new babies like it when you mimic the conditions of the womb. 

Karp describes the 5 "S's" - Swaddling, Side/Stomach, Shhhh, Swinging, and Sucking - and how to put them together as a "cure" for colic. Now, I can't claim that Maisy was a colicky baby, but she did go through her own version of peak fussiness around 7 or 8 weeks. (There's a cool line graph in the book that shows the average number of hours that newborns spend crying per day.) I can honestly say that when Maisy got on a crying jag, it was often the "S's" that could soothe her again. 

"Cure" may be a strong word, but this book and its 5 "S's" are worth a look.

From Conception to Birth was just plain cool. Week by week, Rick and I were amazed by these awesome images of fetal development. We couldn't believe all of the organs and systems that come into place at such an early stage. This book is proof, in words and pictures, that babies are miraculous. 

Simply awesome - moms and dads-to-be, check this one out!

'Fraidy Cat

Maisy's closing in on 6 and a half months old, and she still doesn't roll over. This isn't anything I lose sleep over. I know all babies are different. Maisy supported her head from a super early age; she can pick up a Cheerio with a pincer grasp; she's been imitating sounds and facial expressions since she was 4 months old; and she's been sitting since right before 5 months. So she doesn't roll over? Big deal.

Here's my theory about the rolling: She's a 'fraidy cat. Or should I say 'fraidy kitty? I have some evidence to back this up. First, though, here are a few reasons I've ruled out:

Ruled-Out Reason #1: Not enough tummy time
Like many babies who sleep on their backs, Maisy wasn't a huge fan of tummy time. We were persistent, though. We started early. We figured out the times of day that work best. We let her fuss a little as long as she wasn't all-out crying. We let her be when she was content. We gave her a variety of toys, mirrors, colorful blankets. We got down on her level. Really, we did tummy time.

The result was a baby who could do an awesome, long-lasting, straight-armed push-up since four months. However, she hated the feeling of flailing around on her tummy "swimming" with her arms and legs. She'll do a little more of that now, reaching after toys and using a leg for leverage, but mostly she's just a push-up rock star.

Ruled-Out Reason #2: She's not strong enough
This is like reason #1. And like I said above, she has some seriously great upper body and back strength. It's just that she doesn't let herself go. If she gets tired of her everlasting push-up, she carefully lets herself down. When she's ready, she pops back up again. Plenty strong.

Ruled-Out Reason #3: She's not motivated enough
Okay, I can't completely rule this one out. Maisy is a pretty contented baby, so sometimes on her tummy she'll just chill out or suck her thumb happily. But she likes playing with toys, and she reaches for them when she sits, when she's in her exersaucer, when she's in her car seat. And finally, more frequently now, on her tummy.

Evidence for a 'Fraidy Kitty
This morning, Maisy was happily and noisily sitting up and playing with some toys. I was washing dishes nearby. Apparently, she decided she wanted her little lion rattle toy which was just out of reach. Bam! Baby down! (Flat on her face.) And baby screaming! I swooped her into my lap and calmed her down.

Soon, I tried to tempt her with the lion rattle again. She really seemed to want that toy, but just the sight of it set her to sniffling again. Finally, she cautiously reached for it - and pulled back. Reach - pull back. Reach - pull back. When she felt safe enough, she reached for it and got it, happily shaking it. When she dropped it, I attempted to tempt her again, but no such luck. It was just too scary. My little cry-baby-'fraidy-kitty would not go after that mean old lion again.

This isn't the first time Maisy has landed sprawled out when reaching for a toy from a seated position. (It's really pretty funny, even though she rarely thinks so.) What I've noticed is that she does it less and less, in part because she's a bit more coordinated. Mostly, though, I think she's learned from her mistakes and figured out what her limit is. She just figures, "Whatever, Toy, I don't need you," and moves on to a different form of entertainment.

I think I have a cautious baby. She definitely doesn't get that from Daddy. And you know what? I'm okay with having a little 'fraidy kitty. Fewer ER visits are fine by me. As for the rolling, she'll roll if she needs to, and I don't doubt that she'll crawl, walk, and run eventually anyway. Probably not too much climbing, though, but I guess time will tell.

Friday Faves: Two Books, a Bear, and a Boppy

I know that it's Saturday, but if I promise to usually post my reviews on Fridays can I get away with calling these Friday Faves today?  It has a much better ring to it than Saturday Faves.  My goal - we'll see how it works out - is to post a few reviews of my favorite things on Fridays.  I'll tell you what works right now and why I think it's working.  I'll try to intermix the mommy stuff with the tutor stuff.  This week I review two books, a bear, and a Boppy.

Two Books

The first book, Baby Loves Peekaboo, is a Maisy must-have right now.  The pages are filled with babies (and babies love looking at babies) and stuffed animals, so there are plenty of fun pictures to point out and have Maisy shake her little fist at.  Each page has a "touch-and-feel" picture, so my 6-month-old enjoys rubbing her fingers over the different textures.

By far the best part of this book, though, are the big flaps that open to the right.  They're sturdy enough that they won't get torn too easily and big enough that Maisy can wrap her right hand around the flap and flip it open and closed, open and closed, open and closed, just listening for my "peekaboo!"  Maisy loves it because of all the colors, textures, and flaps; I love it because it seems like she really gets it (and that's so cool).


The next book, KAPLAN ACT: Strategies, Practice, and Review, is one of the guides I refer to most when preparing students for the ACT.  One of the top reasons I like this particular guide is because of the KAPLAN strategies.  They make so much sense!  From how to use a triage approach to how to fill in the answer grid, this book is filled with practical strategies for the test as a whole and for specific subjects.  The subject-specific strategies give students a structured way to approach each test question to maximize their chances of getting a higher score.

Aside from the strategies that make this guide stand out, the KAPLAN book includes skill refreshers, practice tests with detailed explanations, and a section that outlines what to do on the nights leading up to Test Day.  It's not perfect.  I have stumbled on a couple of errors.  Yet, as a whole, this is a good book to use when preparing students for the ACT.


A Bear
Meet Pancake Bear - at least that's what we call him.  My brother is responsible for the silly name, but it has stuck.  This is Maisy's little sleep buddy right now.  She holds the soft little bear in the crook of her left arm, pops her right thumb into her mouth, and she's off to dreamland.  It seems like the perfect size for Maisy's six-month self.  Big enough to clutch, but little enough for a good baby grip.  It's soft, it's cute, and it has the tags, because babies like tags, right?  


Of course, the irony is that Maisy doesn't really care much about the cute blue textured tags.  She goes straight for the real deal.  No one's going to trick her into going after any fake tags!  What do I care? She likes her Pancake Bear and it helps her (and us!) get some sleep.




A Boppy
A Boppy is a mom's best friend, especially in the first few months of breastfeeding fun.    What I've discovered, though, is that the Boppy has actually become more useful as Maisy has gotten a little older.  I still frequently use it for nursing.  It's comfortable and it's supportive.  


My favorite use for it now, though, is as a baby-catcher.  Maisy's been sitting up since she was five months old.  She loves sitting up because she can interact with her toys so easily.  The Boppy fits right around her, so if she tips right, left, or backwards, this pillow cushions her fall.  It's easily portable and has a washable slipcover, so it really does make the ideal baby-catcher while Maisy's learning to support herself and explore her world sitting up.

Randomness: A "use-what-you-have" Recipe for Shredded Chicken Chili Wraps

Maybe you think I'm just writing about being a tutor, or about being a mom, but since this is my blog I actually get to write about whatever I feel like.  Here you'll find a simple recipe I threw together last night that turned out to taste pretty good.  It's random, but I'll see if I can somehow connect it to something "Tutor Mommy" related.

It was 4:30 pm on Monday.  We'd just gotten back from our second 8+ hour road trip to North Dakota in a two-week time span.  I'd taken Maisy in for her 6-month check-up in the morning, we'd gone to Baby Storytime at the library, and I'd used up Maisy's one good nap blogging.

Some basic unpacking.

Feed baby, play with baby, soothe baby, update baby book...

No grocery shopping.  The day had slipped away from me.  The least I could do was figure out some sort of supper.

Here's the "Tutor Mommy" connection:  A think-aloud.  I use think-alouds (see Strategy Instruction for Students with Learning Disabilities or anything from the University of Kansas Learning Strategies Curriculum to see where I got the technique from) when I'm teaching a tutoring client a new strategy.  It's just what it sounds like:  A think-aloud models my thought process as I go through the steps of a strategy I'm trying to teach.  In this case, I'll think aloud how I decided what to make for supper.

Hmmm... fridge is basically empty.  Should have gone grocery shopping.  No eggs, so there goes that simple idea.  Just had goulash yesterday and leftovers for today's lunch, so I guess I'll scrap anything with ground beef and pasta.  What's left?  Deer sausage and pancakes?  Oh yeah, no eggs.  That leaves chicken.


[I go get four frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts from the deep freeze.]

Chicken, chicken, chicken.  Guess I'll just cook it and see what comes to me.  


[I spray a frying pan and put the chicken on with a little pepper.]


Mmmmm... homemade macaroni and cheese...  No, just had pasta, plus it takes too long.  


What's in the cupboard?  Diced tomatoes for chili?  Kidney beans?  I could make chicken chili!  Too hot for chicken chili.  There are a few wraps left in the fridge.  I could just mix the cans in with the cooked chicken and toss it in a wrap - perfect!  Easy, sounds pretty good, we even have a little shredded cheese to toss on top.  


Chicken's cooked through.  Tired of chopped up chicken.  Can I shred it?


[I shred.  Pour in the tomatoes.  Drain and add the kidney beans.  Mix together, turn the frying pan on low and cover.]

Okay, what else can we have?  


[Check the freezer for frozen veggies.]


Corn.  I always like corn with chili or taco-type meals.  Corn it is.


[I toss the corn in my favorite Pampered Chef microwave container and cook it.]


What should I call it?  Shredded Chicken Chili Wraps - that even sounds like something I could find in a cookbook.  Perfect!


So there it was.  Rick came home.  We tossed the shredded chicken chili mixture into the wraps and topped it with corn and shredded Colby Jack.  Delicious!  And super easy.  You should try it:

Shredded Chicken Chili Wraps

Ingredients:

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts, cooked (fry it, grill it, bake it, I doubt it matters)

1 can chili-seasoned diced tomatoes (or any diced tomatoes with chili powder, I doubt it matters)

1 can red kidney beans, drained

1 package corn, cooked and drained

Shredded cheese, however much you want or have (I used Colby Jack, but I doubt it matters)

6 large tortillas

Directions:

Use two forks to shred the cooked chicken breast.  Return to frying pan.  Add tomatoes and drained beans.  Simmer on low for 15-20 minutes, stirring occasionally.  

Scoop shredded chicken chili mixture into a tortilla.  Top with corn.  Top with cheese.  

That's all there is to it - enjoy!

Great 8: Ways people tell me my baby is chubby

8.  "She's just a healthy breastfed baby." (My pediatrician's way of reassuring me)

7.  "You know it'll melt right off after she starts crawling and walking." 

6.  "Awwww... you don't feed her!" 

5.  "I wish my baby had cheeks like that!"

4.  "Look at those muscles!" (Popular with little kids)

3.   "She's healthy, isn't she?!" (The p.c. way to say it) 

2.  "What a chunk of love!"

And number 1, courtesy of a little boy at my church:

1.  "She's so cute!  Her hands and feet look like a professional wrestler!"

Stay-at-Home Mommy Guilt

I hear that it's not uncommon for moms to feel guilty now and then. I don't claim to be riddled with guilt. Other than occasionally startling awake at 2 am and mistaking my husband's shoulder for my baby's head and panicking that Maisy is lost in our bed (though she has never slept in bed with us), I sleep very well at night. I never had an inkling of postpartum depression. In fact, I consider myself to be a happy person. Yet still, there's the mommy guilt.

I feel guilty that I spent $6.48 on a clearance baby dress today when I know the budget's tight so that I can be at home with Maisy.

I feel guilty for buying baby food in convenient plastic containers when certainly I'm capable of making my own!

I feel guilty that my bathroom is not sparkling clean at all times.

I feel guilty for not vacuuming daily to prevent the dog hair that inevitably is found clinging to my baby's drool-covered chin when we're at the grocery store.

I feel guilty when I take a little time out of my day to read while Maisy plays happily on the floor nearby. Why am I not cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming??? I blame my dog for the little black hairs that cling to socks and drooly fists, but isn't it my fault too for not being a better housekeeper?

I feel guilty that my daughter just woke up from her nap and she's now hanging out in my lap while I peck one-handed at the keyboard instead of playing pat-a-cake. Never mind, she just drifted off again, much too sleepy for pat-a-cake. Guilt-be-gone.

I feel guilty that I just finished my Master's degree and yet I only tutor four times a week, which barely covers the monthly student loan payments.

I know I'm blessed to stay at home with my little girl when many women balance full-time jobs and kids and have sparklier bathrooms too. For that, I feel guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

Surely I'm not the only stay-at-home mom who feels this way. Yet I know I'd torture myself with guilt just as much if I worked outside the home. So why do I let myself do it? How do I stop?

Trust me, these are rhetorical questions. I have no answers. I think I just keep on doing what I want to do while I'm able to do it, which is stay at home with my baby girl, tutor a few students who need the help, and feel good that at least I tend to be pretty caught up on the laundry.

For the record, I know there are plenty of things I do right as Maisy's full-time mommy aside from keeping up with the laundry.  We read.  (Our favorite book right now is "Baby Loves Peekaboo.")  We sing.  ("Hokey Pokey" is the best song EVER according to Maisy.)  We play.  (Little blocks with bells inside of them are awesome, and Maisy is turning out to be quite the prodigy on her Baby Einstein piano.)  We smile at each other all day long, and we talk A LOT.  Maisy's "ba's" and "ga's" and "ma's" have been temporarily outshone by her new favorite sound, "AAAUULLLGGHHHAAAUUUGH!"  And I love it.  I love her.  Guilt or no guilt, I'm convinced there's no better job than being Maisy's mommy.