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Alternatively titled:  Why I Haven't Been Blogging

When I was pregnant with Maisy and in my first trimester, I wanted to tell the entire world my awesome news. But I held back. I was worried that something would happen – because things do happen :( – and I was afraid of the possibility of having to backtrack and tell sad news too. Then, the first trimester was over, and I crossed that imaginary line from “be-careful-what-you-share” to “now-you-can-tell-whoever-you-want”. 

 Suddenly, aside from my close friends and family who basically already knew, I didn't know what to say! Or how to say it! Or when to say it! In fact, I didn't tell many of my co-workers or any of my middle school students until long after I'd been wearing maternity clothes to work. It's not that I'm shy, and certainly not that I don't like attention (I admittedly do). I just. Didn't. Know. What. To Say.

That's my introduction.

By the way, I am not pregnant again.

Also by the way, I have a different kind of news. I've typed at least 3 blog entries about it that I've never posted. My blog has been mainly silent because this is what I've wanted to write about, but haven't been able to spit out.

Okay, enough suspense!

My husband and I are planning to adopt.

In some ways we're out of the metaphorical “first trimester.” We have a completed home study (yay!). We're going through the matching process. In other ways, we're still there.  We don't know if or how or when our next child (or children) will come home. It's exciting, but confusing. In some ways it's private, yet in other ways not. For instance, we want our friends and family to have time to adjust, too, before we say “oh by the way, we're adopting, and Child 1 and Child 2 are coming home next weekend!”

I know that since we have a 15-month-old daughter, many of you may be thinking we are adopting an infant, or perhaps a toddler from another country. And undoubtedly babies and toddlers from other places need good stable homes, too. However, we feel steered in another direction.

We want to adopt one or two older children from right here in Minnesota. Because they need families, too. Because there are plenty of great kids who live in this great state who have no idea when – or if – they will have a permanent home and a forever family.

We've tried our best to do our homework. We've gone to trainings and parent groups, read books and watched videos. We pray a lot.  We've talked with friends, families, and people who have “been there.” So we know that the children waiting for adoption in Minnesota have been through varying degrees of really hard times.  We know that their tough times mean that we will also have some tough times as a family – growing pains, time for us all to adjust, and so on - but we're going for it.  We believe God will be with us every step of the way - and our good friends and family members will, too.  We believe in moments of joy and healing.  We believe in the family we will become.

So how do I wrap this up? I could tell you that we have a meeting in about a week which will either take us much closer, or back to square one. (Which is true.) I could ask you to pray. (Please do.) I could request that you refrain from cautionary statements. (Remember, we're doing our best to prepare.) Or, I could just say...

The End

(And The Beginning!)