Stay-at-Home Mommy Guilt

I hear that it's not uncommon for moms to feel guilty now and then. I don't claim to be riddled with guilt. Other than occasionally startling awake at 2 am and mistaking my husband's shoulder for my baby's head and panicking that Maisy is lost in our bed (though she has never slept in bed with us), I sleep very well at night. I never had an inkling of postpartum depression. In fact, I consider myself to be a happy person. Yet still, there's the mommy guilt.

I feel guilty that I spent $6.48 on a clearance baby dress today when I know the budget's tight so that I can be at home with Maisy.

I feel guilty for buying baby food in convenient plastic containers when certainly I'm capable of making my own!

I feel guilty that my bathroom is not sparkling clean at all times.

I feel guilty for not vacuuming daily to prevent the dog hair that inevitably is found clinging to my baby's drool-covered chin when we're at the grocery store.

I feel guilty when I take a little time out of my day to read while Maisy plays happily on the floor nearby. Why am I not cleaning the bathroom or vacuuming??? I blame my dog for the little black hairs that cling to socks and drooly fists, but isn't it my fault too for not being a better housekeeper?

I feel guilty that my daughter just woke up from her nap and she's now hanging out in my lap while I peck one-handed at the keyboard instead of playing pat-a-cake. Never mind, she just drifted off again, much too sleepy for pat-a-cake. Guilt-be-gone.

I feel guilty that I just finished my Master's degree and yet I only tutor four times a week, which barely covers the monthly student loan payments.

I know I'm blessed to stay at home with my little girl when many women balance full-time jobs and kids and have sparklier bathrooms too. For that, I feel guilty. Guilty, guilty, guilty.

Surely I'm not the only stay-at-home mom who feels this way. Yet I know I'd torture myself with guilt just as much if I worked outside the home. So why do I let myself do it? How do I stop?

Trust me, these are rhetorical questions. I have no answers. I think I just keep on doing what I want to do while I'm able to do it, which is stay at home with my baby girl, tutor a few students who need the help, and feel good that at least I tend to be pretty caught up on the laundry.

For the record, I know there are plenty of things I do right as Maisy's full-time mommy aside from keeping up with the laundry.  We read.  (Our favorite book right now is "Baby Loves Peekaboo.")  We sing.  ("Hokey Pokey" is the best song EVER according to Maisy.)  We play.  (Little blocks with bells inside of them are awesome, and Maisy is turning out to be quite the prodigy on her Baby Einstein piano.)  We smile at each other all day long, and we talk A LOT.  Maisy's "ba's" and "ga's" and "ma's" have been temporarily outshone by her new favorite sound, "AAAUULLLGGHHHAAAUUUGH!"  And I love it.  I love her.  Guilt or no guilt, I'm convinced there's no better job than being Maisy's mommy.